[CLOSED] when is everything gon' be alright?

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon tucked his dying phone into his pocket, looking around the waiting area of the hospital. He didn't want to be here. Not the way Connor had spoken to him. But he had come nonetheless. "What room is Connor Ru- er.. Sykes in?" He asked, and the nurse showed him to Connor's room. He looked in, standing in the doorway indifferently. It was obvious that being without Connor had just turned him back into the Deacon he was before. His eyes didn't glow like they should have, and he hadn't even bothered to fix his hair or put in his septum. He was wearing old clothes with paint on them, looked like he hadn't worn makeup in days.

"Sorry I took so long. I had to stop somewhere. Aside from walking all the way from the next town over." He said, tossing him his ring on a necklace chain so he wouldn't have to get any closer to him.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor set his phone down as the door opened, looked up. His eyes were faintly bloodshot, bags beneath them from lack or sleep, red rimmed and tears fresh on his cheeks. He let out a shaky breath, edgy and jittery even though he hadn't touched any drugs, it all being the parasite at work. He sniffed softly, wiping at his nose, a towel pressed to his obviously bleeding lower back where he had gone at the tattoo with a knife he got ahold of.

"I-I told you not to come.." He rasped, sitting criss cross on the bed. He caught the chain, fingering the ring fondly, and fresh tears started falling down his cheeks. 'Not so big and tough now huh? Can't hide behind a screen faggot? He always deserved better than you..'

Connor groaned, pressing his hands to the sides of his head.

[deacon reid rudman]

"You told me a lot of shit. But I wasn't supposed to listen to that, now was I?" He said defiantly, eyeing him. He had done damage to his own tattoos, both the one on his neck and the one on his hip for Bandit.

As much as he wanted to walk over and comfort him, he refused to. "It's okay, Connor. It's just us." He mumbled, shifting his weight to his other foot. He heard a scream down the hall, followed by another voice telling them they were okay. 'Crazy train stopped by and gave us all it's passangers, apparently.' He thought, coughing into his arm. "I'm not getting Bandit back.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor raised his head slowly, felt like it was going to explain. "I'd ask you to i-ign-nore most 'it.. 'm just ups-set..." The doorknob was accidentally rattled as somebody passed and he jumped, drawing in a breath.
"Why not..?" He choked softly, reaching up to wipe tears away with a nail bitten hand.

'Why would either of you deserve her? Watch out hm? Isn/t he like daddy? Isn't that what you said?'

"Shut up.." Connor whispered under his breath.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon shrugged. He was used to crazy people, people hearing voices and talking to things that weren't there. It had been his job at one point. Now he was just a psychologist. "Because apparently I'm not good enough to be her father and you aren't there so you can't take care of her.. It probably has to do with me taking a knife to my neck. I seldom cut when I had her and it was never so bad that I actually passed out for two days. I woke up and was awake for an hour and they took her. So yeah.. No more little red head thinking I've gotten you pregnant." He shrugged as if it didn't mean anything. But the giant blood stain on the hip of his jeans told differently.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone to check the time.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor lowered his head. "C-cos of me..." He murmured brokenly. "Cos I got f-fucking infected probably through that d-damn transplant a-and said shit I don't even know I said, r-right? It's my fault sh-she's gone.." He swallowed, shifting his weight and looking around warily again, tapping his fingers quickly on his knees.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon shook his head, part of him wanting to comfort Connor and make him feel better. "No, it's my fault for falling in love with you in the first place." He said, shrugging again. "Maybe if I wouldn't have fallen for you your dad would have already beat the life out of you and you wouldn't be here right now. I guess that's the one thing we can add to the differences between him and me." He said, eyeing him defiantly.

He walked over to the chair next to the bed, pulling it to the corner at the end of his bed. He sat down, folding his hands over his stomach. He reached up, a hand rubbing the deep gashes he had on his neck through the word on his neck.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor winced at the words, clearly hurt. "What do y-you want from me?" He choked. "A-A reaction? I c-can call him right now h-huh? He's already beat m-me to death, I've already died. I can a-ask him to do it again."

He picked at a fingernail, still gripping the ring tightly in his hand, terrified of letting it go. He looked away, tears falling steadily down his cheeks, body tense and uneasy enough as if was already.

[deacon reid rudman]

"I thought we already discussed what a selfish decision that would be." He said, coughing into his arm again. He was obviously getting sick, what little body he had left slowly deteriorating. Which was to be expected. He was over a hundred and fifty. "You're gonna dehydrate yourself crying over stupid shit, Connor. I spent two days passed out over you. And trust me, it wasn't worth it. It certainly didn't fix anything." He coughed again, harder this time. He wouldn't be surprised if they had given him cancer on top of taking away Bandit.

"I'm not trying to be fucking mean to you, Connor. I'm just fed up with the fact that I can't make you happy. You wanted to be happy like you were when we first started dating. Well you fucking hated me then. And damnit, I'm tired of being your dad. And every fucking time I told you I loved you, I meant it. I'm sorry I can't be fucking Zoey and Dyson and whoever else you dated before me. If you want them back, go get them. I don't have long left anyways."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor only cried harder. "I l-left them for reason damnit Deacon! I didn't leave y-you, you took m-my ring. So stop telling m-me to go back to them when I don't!" He looked over at him angrily, expression broken. But there was no more fight. He was done. "I-I wanted us happy where we weren't f-fighting a-and I wasn't so sick... I was getting b-better Deacon... a-and then all this sh-shit blows up huh? Like we c-can never have a fucking break. And I'm sorry[/b]..." He swallowed, screaming in his head turning to laughter.

'See how he coughs, how he looks at you. Why don't you off yourself like you said? He's better off without you isn't he? Who is he to you? You're a monster, dirt, trash. You've told him all this hm? He knows as well as you. He doesn't love you, nobody does.'

His teeth gritted, breaths shallowing.

'Scream, scream... he doesn't care, he's just going to leave. You lost your baby your lover, and soon your sister too you fool. They don't lo-'

Connor threw his head back with a screech, eyes closing tight as he pressed his hand tightly to his ears, his agonized wail a last resort to try and stop it all.

He slumped, curling up on the bed with a shaky breath, crying.