[CLOSED] when is everything gon' be alright?

[deacon reid rudman]

"THEY left YOU because you were sick. History had a habit of repeating itself, doesn't it? And then one stupid fucker came along and tried all he could to fix you and give you a family. Boy, wasn't he dumb?" He asked, covering his ears when Connor screeched.

"You and that fucking bird call! I swear to fuck!" He walked over, grabbing him by the face and forcing him to look at him. "No one's here. Okay? It's just you and the fucking bastard who ruined your life." He said, a cough following shortly after. He let go of him, prying the ring out of his hand. "You got what you wanted. You got it, okay? It's no one's fault that when it rains it fucking pours." He yanked it off the chain, throwing the chain to the floor. He pushed the ring back on his finger before he walked back to his chair. "That's where it fucking belongs. Now can you stop fumbling with it? I went through hell getting it back." He held out his bloody palms. "Our house is fucking ruined. We don't have anything anymore, Connor.. We have a ring.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor tensed as he was grabbed. "I'm s-sorry!" He yelped fearfully, flinching back. "I'm sorry..." He cried. "Y-you can't get mad at m-m--me. I-it's not my fucking f-fault the screaming in my head won't stop. I dunno what I-I did wrong, I dunno why you're so pissed... I-...you happy? Because I h-have no clue what the hell happened okay?!" His shoulders shook softly and he curled up on the bed. "I wanted you to tr-ry because I loved you..still do...but if we're nothing but a f-fucking ring then I'm sorry..." He played with it longingly. "You were s-supposed to be the happiest ending I-I could have Deacon... I'm s-sorry a fucking parasite contr-rolling my damn mind r-ruined it."

[deacon reid rudman]

"We aren't just a ring! All we HAVE is a ring, Connor! We don't have our baby, we don't have our house! The only thing we have, Connor, is a ring.." He said, finally breaking. He crossed his arms across his chest, starting to sob. He felt like a jerk, being so mean to Connor. But it was hard to forgive him after he had said that he had lied about loving him, called him his father again amongst other names. "All I wanted, Connor, was to have you forever.. That's all I wanted.. I don't want a happy ending.. I want a happily ever after.. A-and every day it gets harder and harder to pretend that you're gonna be here. Now Bandit's gone, you're in the hospital all over again, and it's like everything I ever loved is leaving me.. The only thing I've ever really wanted was to be able to hold you in my arms forever, Connor.. Because I love you more than anything.. And everything that's getting thrown at us isn't fucking fair.."

[connor crayze sykes]

"We never h-had forever Deacon.." Connor whispered, back turned on Deacon where he was curled up. He brought his hands to his ears again, crying softly, afraid to cry out in agony because Deacon kept yelling at him. "I don't r-remember even saying it Deacon..." He whimpered. "Y-you're mad at me f-for something I didn't consciously do...s-something you should know I-I would never mean..." He shuddered, hugging himself tightly.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Then why should I stay, Connor? If we never had a fucking shot, why should I stay?" He asked, tears falling down his cheeks. He looked over at him, realizing that he really couldn't live without him. He was getting sicker and sicker the more and more he fought with Connor, the longer they were apart. "Because when you're not meaning to say things, Connor, that's when they're the truth.. I had one shot at love and I fucked it up.. I really did want to marry you. You see what being without you does to me, Connor? Do you see what a mess I am? You're the only thing keeping me together.." He sniffled, looking over warily at him. "I'm sorry I've been a fucking ass.. And I know saying sorry isn't going to take it away.. Neither is telling you I love you.."

[connor crayze sykes]

"But I-I didn't mean it Deacon, because I love you!" He sobbed, crying shakily. He couldn't bring himself to stop now, to even think that Deacon would assume it could be the truth. He listening to him, trying to block out every other taunting voice. "I-I love y-you too..." He choked. "I still wanna m-marry you Deacon... I'm af-fraid of you leaving again th-though." He jumped as someone moved down the hall with a stretcher, body shaking as he curled up tighter.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon walked warily over to him, gently kissing him. He climbed into the bed behind him, his coughing growing far worse as he wrapped his arms around Connor's waist, gently running his hand up and down his stomach. He kissed the back of his neck, tears still falling down his cheeks. 'You took our baby.. Why can't I just keep him?' He thought, hugging him tightly.

"I'm not leaving, Connor.. I'll stay by your side forever if you want me to.. I'm not leaving.." He started to cough again, finding it hard to breathe, even if breathing wasn't something he had to do. "I just want my family back.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor tensed at first, crying softly into the kiss. He rolled over, lower back hurting, and hugged Deacon tightly, making it clear ofhow terrified he was to let go. "S-stay..please don't leave m-me... I love you." He swallowed, gagging faintly, and buried his face. "I'm s-sorry for whate-ever I said to make y-y-you so mad..."

[deacon reid rudman]

"I'm not leaving, Connor.." He breathed, gently brushing his hair back. He slowly stroked his hair, looking over at him. 'Even my eyesight is going.. If I make it through the night it'll be a miracle..' He thought, knowing he was eventually going to pass out, and stay out. Unless he outright died. "I love you too, baby.. More than anything.." He wished he really did have forever with him, but he didn't. "I'm just tired of seeing you like this.. I'm tired of seeing you sick and seeing you unhappy and knowing you're gonna die on me.. It's so hard to watch you die, Connor.. It's literally killing me.. I can't take much more of this.." He said, then started crying again.

[connor crayze sykes]

"Deacon.." His jaw trembled and he reached out to brush Deacon's tears away. "I'm better th-than I was bef-fore the transplants, I-I'm working for as long as possible with y-you.. They're gonna f-figure out this parasite thing a-and it'll get better...we c-can be happier then... Please... I j-just wanna be happy again..with y-you... I wanna marry y-you... I wanna live my life while I-I still can.."