[OPEN] it hurts to remember.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon nodded, knowing that his luck, he probably would end up losing Connor despite the surgeries. He gently stroked his hand, trying to stop his sobbing. But it was difficult, knowing he wouldn't be able to even if he tried. There was no promising he would live.

"I'm gonna go get Bandit.." He said quietly, pulling himself to his feet. He kissed his forehead, brushing his hair back gently. He looked at him for a moment, wishing so badly that Connor was immortal.

"Do you need me to pick up anyone?" He asked, fishing his keys out of his pocket. He toyed with the little frame on it, Bandit on one side and Connor on the other. 'I never got a picture of both of them..' He thought.

[trez matthew steele]

Trez watched him, shook his head slowly. He bit down on his lip. Sure he would like having Harper here, but he didn't want Deacon gone, losing any chance to be with Connor.

"They said they'll get everything prepped.. I'll stay with him." He sat down, exhausted.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon looked over at him, chewing on one of his snake bites. "Are you sure cause she's literally just outside of town so it's gonna take me like, forever to go get her. I don't mind stopping." He offered again. He hated that Thatcher had to live so far, just on the outskirts of town. But it was closer than where they lived when Deacon was a little boy. Or littler than he was now.

[trez matthew steele]

Trez hesitated. "You ah, kniw Harper..?" He breathed, rubbing at his face. "Encantado..." He stretched his legs out, gently taking Connor's cool hand. He hoped Deacon didn't think anything of it, and he didn't lace their fingers together, they weren't romantic or anything. He had just helped him when he was down, had to be here for him now.

[deacon reid rudman]

"Doughnut girl? Dresses like a guy? Everyone almost dies. I know everyone." He said quietly. Even if he didn't know the details, he knew that everyone had a near death experience. He left the room quietly, and got into his car. He drove to Thatcher's house and got Bandit, the toddler very tired and obviously scared. He buckled her in, thanking Thatcher before he went and got Harper, telling her that Trez needed her. Then he headed back to the hospital, unbuckling Bandit from the back. He grabbed her diaper bag, then started inside, leading Harper to the back. She looked worriedly at Trez, then at Connor.

"Trez.. How do you not just.. give up?" She breathed, walking over to him to hug him tightly. Deacon sat on the floor, changing Bandit into a baggy t-shirt instead of her bathing suit.

"Daddy?" She asked, reaching for Connor.

[trez matthew steele]

Trez looked up at her, smiled tiredly. He leaned back in her arms, looking back at Connor, watching the little girl reach fir him. He bit his lip, knowing she wouldn't get the reaction she was looking for. That Connor wouldn't move, wouldn't wake up.

[deacon reid rudman]

Harper sat carefully in his lap, gently running her fingers through his hair. She looked down at Bandit, and Deacon fussing over her hair, obviously trying to distract himself with the baby.

"He's sleeping.." He told her quietly, trying to fix her pigtails.

"Daddy, wake up." She told him, tugging on the bed sheet. She tried climbing up, but couldn't get a grip. He laid her down carefully beside him, watching her curl up at his side. "Yub oo, daddy.." She said, pulling the blanket up over them. Deacon sighed, leaning back against the wall.

"She breaks your heart.." Harper said, looking away before she started crying.

[trez matthew steele]

Trez rubbed her back gently, hugging her close as he watched Bandit curl up with him. The tube down Connor's throat bothered him most, made it hard to pretend Connor was more alive than he really was. He watched her pull the blankets up, couldn't tear his eyes away. Maybe losing Xander had made him stronger. Whatever it was though, he always seemed to be the last to crack. And yet with Connor he was fighting tears.

A nurse came in with two bags of blood, and hooked up two more IVs needles, sliding them into a vein beneath the other fluids. "This is the doners blood. His body needs to get used to any slight differences.." She explained, smiled at the little girl. Checking that the machines were making humanly steady vitals, she left again.

[deacon reid rudman]

Harper kept close to him, gently rubbing his chest. She laid her head on his shoulder, realizing she probably smelled like flour and icing. She looked up as Deacon walked past, taking a seat in the corner of the room so no one would bump into him. Bandit just looked up sleepily at the lady, waving at her before she rested her hand back on Connor's chest, snuggling close to him. She pulled the blankets up closer.

"Dad." She whined, and Deacon looked up.

"What?"

"Tuck us in." She said, and he bit his lip, walking over to tuck them in like she asked.

"Better?" He asked, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah. Ni-night, dad."

"Night, baby." He said, taking his seat again as he watched her bright blue eyes close, clinging to Connor for all he was worth.

"She's so precious with her red hair." Harper said with a smile, looking over at Deacon.

"She's a mess.. She's a daddy's girl if there ever was one." He said, playing with his keychain.

[trez matthew steele]

Trez closed his eyes, finally looking away. He listened to them talk, the beep of the machines, the sound the respirator made every time it breathed for Connor. A good fourty five minutes passed before somebody came in and explained they would not be replacing his heart if it worked on its own after some other work, but that they were going to first try and work on the lungs in surgery. Trez stood slowly, and gently lifted Bandit in a way that he hoped she would kkeep sleeping so that they could leave. He waited for the other two before heading towards the waiting room, thankful that it was nearly empty. They didn't have to move Connor since he was already in emergency care.