[CLOSED] but watch how good i'll fake it.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat tried to get back up, shut up the screaming voice when he felt his head hit the ground for the second time today. His eyes flashed back to green, and he groaned, hugging Dylan close again. His head was throbbing, a horrible ache he couldn't get to go away.

"I love you." He whispered, burying his face in Dylan's neck. He kissed it gently, rubbing his chest slowly as he curled up against him, looking for that comfort he once had. That comfort he didn't have. But for now, he just wanted to be Mat on the tour bus, just wanted to be the Mat that Dylan loved, the person Dylan slept next to every night. He closed his eyes, his hand rubbing his chest gently. "My head hurts, Dyl.." He complained, clinging to Dylan's shirt.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan laid flat on his back in stunned silence from the pain. He groaned again, finally curling up and hugging Mat closer. "It's okay, baby..." He mumbled, coughing. Damn he hurt. Tears rolled steadily down his cheeks, sides torn and bleeding.

He kissed Mat's forehead, cradling him, afraid to let go ever again. "I-I can't lose you again, Mat," He sobbed against his shirt. "I just can't, baby..." He coughed again, drew in a shallow breath, knew he had bruised his shoulders and ribs. "I love you..."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat moved as close as he could get, hugging him tightly. He reached up, running his fingers across his cheek. "Then don't let go, Dylan.." He whispered, cupping his cheek gently as he looked up at him. "I love you too, baby.. So so much. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm right here.." He said quietly, kissing his cheek. He rubbed the side of his neck gently, looking up at him with that same awe he always has.

"I don't know why you ever liked me in the first place." He said, kissing his nose.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan swallowed. "Because you're amazing...because you were always supposed to be mine.." He winced. "Damn..." He whimpered, shifting his weight in discomfort at the pain. "I fuckin' jumped out a tree for you," He complained, gagging faintly again.

He sighed shakily, not bothering with his torn hoodie or the pills scattered on the ground. He closed his eyes slowly, breaths shallow and shaky. He curled up against him slowly, not giving a care as to the others. "I dunno what to do," He sobbed.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"Shh.." He ran his fingers through Dylan's hair, trying to offer him some sort of comfort. He wished he had just stayed here, wished he had never gone to the beach. Then Dylan could be happy with his boyfriend, he wouldn't have to think about Mat ever again. He kissed his forehead, hugging him as close as he could.

"Do you love him, or do you just want to keep him safe, Dylan?" He asked, running his fingers through his hair. He didn't know what else he could do, how much more either of them could take. If this voice in his head got any louder he might really hang himself. "I guess that's the only answer you really need. If you love him, then you need to go and not come back here. If you just want to keep him safe, then it's okay for you to stay. I don't know what else to say, baby.."

[dylan flambyte parker]

"I-I dunno..." He whispered brokenly. "I don't want h-him hurt in any way..he-...he's so sweet and-..." He swallowed. "But I can't not come back Mat...I can't stop loving you..."

He felt so fucking sick and disgusting. What was he supposed to do? His love for Mat had always lingered, but Mat had never seemed to be coming back, and he had found himself falling for Nash... Only to find Mat had been here all along. And now Dylan was the only one who could touch him...kiss him...

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat just continued to stroke his hair. "No one's forcing you into a decision right this second, you have all the time in the world." He said, holding him close. He kissed the top of his head. He shifted a bit, getting comfortable. 'He needs me here' he though, leaning down and kissing him softly.

"It's okay. Everything's okay. You don't have to cry, baby." He rubbed the back of his neck gently, looking down at him. He managed a smile, stroking his cheek gently. He loved the feeling of having Dylan's skin under his fingertips again, feeling him there next to him, something he never thought he would have again.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan's jaw trembled as he gazed over at him, wondering if the other two would leave or not. "Just lay with me, Maty..." He murmured, kissing him gently back, He knew what he had to do, and it broke his heart for different reasons.

He drew in a shaky breath, slowly letting it out, and grimaced. "Bruises are gonna be a bitch," He mumbled under his breath.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat hugged him close, rubbing his chest gently. He laid back, getting comfortable. He laid his head on Dylan's chest, listening to his heart. "I miss when Princess was a little puppy and would walk across the floor all wobbly and stuff, then fall on her butt. She was so precious." He knew if all else failed, Britt would just take the puppy home. He had loved her just as much.

"I never did want a kid. Babies always freaked me out. She was probably the closest thing to a baby that I'd want. I wish I could touch her." He was trying to get Dylan's mind off of whatever he was thinking about.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan let out another faint breath. "Yeah," He mumbled. "She was just as innocent then, huh? She's....she's all I had left...I lost everything." He rolled over a bit, body aching, stiffness already starting to set in.

He ran his hands gently through Mat's hair, breaths eventually slowing down some more. He ran a hand gently up and down his arm, fingers pausing as he brushed over the raised scar.