[CLOSED] but watch how good i'll fake it.

[britton "britt" markus roberts]

Britt looked down at the dog. It was just as cute as the day he found it behind the stage. It took him a second, then he realized he was holding the dog. "Dylan!" Britt ran after him, grabbing him again by the arm. He let the dog go, holding his arms tightly.

"Dylan, stop. Okay? Stop." He heard someone yelp, and turned around to see Mat climbing across the head stones almost comically, trying to keep from touching the dog.

"NO PRINCESS! DOWN! NYAH!" He was trying his hardest to keep away from the dog. He bounced over to one of the big above ground vaults, scampering to get up and away from the dog. He looked down at her, pointing his finger. "No!"

"Dylan, don't.." Britt pleaded, holding his arms as tightly as he could.

"Dylan, come get princess." Mat groaned, seeing the dog was making easy work of getting up the vault to him. "She's like, living? And I can't touch her?" He saw Britt was holding his arms, and wondered if Dylan was going to do what Mat thought he was going to do. "Dylan.. Babe.."

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan struggled in his grip, aware of Zoey watching it all in silence. She jumped up, catching the small dog and holding the squirming creature close so it wouldn't cause further problems.

"Let me fucking go Britton," Dylan snapped, his voice wavering. He tore free, stumbling to hands and knees. Sleeping pills scattered from his pocket. "Damnit!" Scooping them back up, he worked his jaw, keeping his face away to hide the pain. "Course she's fucking alive. It's only been three years." He rubbed at his face. "Babe," He scoffed, glared at Britt. "Well, he didn't listen to you." Shrugging, he swallowed, couldn't turn around. "I'm sorry, Mat.." He rasped. "I'm sorry I fucking tried to save myself a little sanity before I lost it okay? I waited for you for so damned long. If I would have known you were here, I would have looked for you. But I didn't. You think this doesn't fucking tear me apart?!" He stumbled, playing with the note from Britton folded up in his other pocket before he turned, trying to take off again.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"Nnh.. Shoulda woulda coulda. Didn't." He mumbled, walking across the head stones. "And when the fuck have I ever listened to dumb shit over there?" He grabbed Dylan by the waist. Dylan took a step and Mat stepped the wrong way. He stumbled to the ground, letting go of Dylan so he wouldn't take him down with him.

"My ASS." He groaned, when in reality, his head was what he had hit the hardest. He slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, his head spinning. He almost hoped a car came around the curve and just fucking hit him. 'Put me out of my damn misery.' He thought, pulling himself to his feet. An old song played over and over in his head like a broken record. 'Oh where, oh where can my baby be? The lord took her away from me..'

He shook his head, reaching out to grab Dylan's hand. He pulled him back over, looking up into those familiar eyes. "Who said I didn't want you any more? They're a fucking liar. I never said it. The last thing I told you was I loved you, no matter what. And I meant it." He pulled Dylan's arm around his waist, his head screaming no. He leaned up, kissing him softly. 'Didn't your moma ever tell you taking other people's toys was WRONG?!' He thought, but brought his hand to Dylan's cheek anyways.

"If you're gonna go.. go.." He finally said, wrapping his arms around himself again. Dylan's hand around his waist made him feel safe though. "If you're gonna die, die. I'm not stopping you. But your boyfriend needs you, Dylan, and that's something you need to consider." He remembered Dylan saying the boy was broken enough, that he wasn't leaving him because of that reason. 'I must have been a shitty boyfriend. Fuck.' He looked over at Britt, stroking his girlfriend's hair. "That should be us.." He said, barely realizing it had passed his lips.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan gazed at him quietly, not quite sure what to think. He rubbed his thumb against his side, chewing on his lip as he looked away, tears rolling down his cheeks. "He needs me, I want you.. I dunno what to do anymore.. T's all so wrong..."

The words the slipped from Mat's lips unnoticed by himself caught Dylan's attention and he followed his gaze, chest shuddering as he lost complete control. "I wanted that to be us..so fuckin' bad.. I-... I just..." He didn't know what to say. "I love y-you...." The kiss quieted him until those words had been spoken. It felt wrong, then right when they were mid kiss, then wrong all over again. So damned confusing. "All I ever wanted was to be happy with you...everything I promised I did, you know? Except keep you too myself forever. Loom what fucking happened to us...." He hugged him tight, letting out a shaky breath. "I can't love just one of you, but it's wrong to love you both.. You all keep telling me you're my past.. 'Oh, Mat died, move on.' I can't though Mat...that isn't how it works.. Even fucking Britt has been so afraid of me.. And then damned April starts coming up and I-...I dunno what to do with myself... I just want the pain to stop..."

He played with the pills in his pocket again. "I want it all to go away..."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat wrapped his arms around Dylan's neck, hugging him tightly. He couldn't help realizing he had gotten taller, whereas Mat would never grow again. He wanted to tell him he could have them both, if that made him feel better. But he knew he couldn't live with knowing he had to share Dylan. He was jealous when it came to Dylan. Dylan was /his/ and he always made sure everyone knew that. Except now. Now Dylan wasn't. And it killed him.

"I love you, Dylan.." He whispered. He reached up, stroking one of his cheeks gently. "I just.. the idea of sharing you.. You've always been /mine/, Dylan. You and Princess were mine, you were there, and you said you would be forever.. That dog was like the fucking kid I didn't want. Now it's like everyone's pulled everything away from me.. One person has managed to ruin the chance I actually had at being happy.." His hands fell from around Dylan's neck and he wrapped them around himself, biting back tears angrily. Mat had probably never been so mad his in life. His green eyes slowly started turning to black, the pupils leaking out and swirling around in the iris. He looked out at the graves, caught a glimpse of Britt and Zoey and gritted his teeth so hard it could be heard across the cemetery, like nails across a chalk board. Britt looked up and could see Mat's eyes, glowing black in the night.

"Dylan..? Something's wrong with your boyfriend.." Britt said, and Mat gritted his teeth.

"HE'S NOT MINE!" He screamed, tears falling down his cheeks as he lunged at Britt, aiming for his throat.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan swallowed. "Even now I would risk it all for you..." He rasped bromenly, holding him close. Hurt filled his eyes as Mat pulled away, and he watched him wrap his arms around himself.

He rubbed at his own eyes, but it didn't matter anymore. "Should asked you to marry me earlier, shouldn't have waited.." He rasped under his breath. He looked up at Britt's comment, thinking it a humorless joke, too got up in his selfish and upset thoughts. But Mat's teeth had gritted, his eyes not his own.

"MAT!" He screeched, throwing himself forward as the other lurched for Britton. He stumbled as he grabbed at Mat's vest, hoping it was enough to slow him down, throw him off balance so he wouldn't touch Britton. "You dumb fucking idiot you can't touch him!" He snarled, beating on his shoulders with a weak hand. And then he began to sob, hugging Mat protectively closer, burying his face against his back. "You can't fucking touch no one, to them you may as well be dead, Mat.. You were only given back to me completely..and-...and it's so damned fucked up.. This fucking life if a fucking game, a sick joke. He cradled Mat against him, wondered what they would do if he downed all those pills right there and then.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"I'M GONNA KILL HIM! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!" Mat screamed, still grabbing for Britt. Britt backed away, nearly falling. "I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT!" He felt Dylan's arms around him and glared at Britt, daring him to come closer. He wanted him to come closer. He was going to tear him apart. He slipped his fingers between Dylan's, pulling his arms tighter around him, still glaring at Britt. His eyes slowly faded back to his green color, but the anger he felt filled the hole Dylan had left in his chest. He wanted to kill Britt, kill the boy who stole his Dylan. And if he saw him around the cemetery again, he would.

He felt Dylan's arms tighter around him and rubbed his arms gently. He didn't turn around until Britt finally dropped his gaze. "Shh.. s'okay.." He whispered, brushing Dylan's hair out of his face. He kissed his forehead, running his fingers through his hair. "It's not a joke, just a puzzle. And you lost one of your pieces. So they gave you a new one. But not this piece has no where to go. Right?" He bent down, looking up at him. He kissed his nose. "This piece's home is here now.. Kinda like when you lose a penny in the couch. You just get another penny, or dime, or a nickle or maybe a quarter." He wrapped his arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

[dylan flambyte parker]

The sudden anger and then this.. Dylan shook his head. "It's different," He muttered. He had told Nash he would meet him at the park, had planned on dropping the things off here. But then he had found the pills and in spur of the moment he had snatched them up. He wondered if Nash had given up on waiting and gone home where he was safe, wondered if he would see him again or if he could still end if all tonight. "I'm the sick joke, then.." He whispered shakily under his breath.

He was afraid to let him go, afraud he would hurt somebody. He could hear Zoey fussing over Britton, making sure he was okay and at the same time holding the dog to keep her from comitting accidental suicide. In that moment he wished he had been in Britton's shoes, died that way. He slid two of the several pills between his fingers absently, stomach churning. His grip around Mat loosened as he gagged faintly, feeling sick with the overwhelming chaos.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat's eyes teared up and his stomach dropped as he felt Dylan's grip loosen. He probably had to go home, had somewhere to be and Mat was just getting in the way, right? He dropped his hands again, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"You're leaving me.." He mumbled, hugging himself again. "If anyone's the sick fucking joke, it's me.. I lost everything I ever loved.."

'You can die all over again. That boy's tied to you, but you aren't tied to him. You're no immortal. You should just go hang yourself. Use that pretty tie of yours..' That voice in his head told him. 'Then you can go to hell for committing suicide. Sounds better than having to live with the fact your boyfriend doesn't love you, doesn't it?' That word set Mat off again and he started clawing at his hair, trying to get to that voice in his head, trying to get to it so he could kill it. He didn't realize he had wandered to the edge of the woods again.

'You can't kill me. You want to get to me? You have to hang yourself. I won't shut up until you do. Do it, Maty Cakes. Your boyfriend wants you to. Do it.. Do it..' That voice laughed, taunting Mat. He fumbled with his vest, his sight blinded by his tears. He finally got it off, the heavy thing falling to the ground.

"Stop using that word.." He mumbled.

'Boyfriend? You want me to stop saying boyfriend? Boyfriend's the word?'

"Shut up.." He groaned, messing with his tie.

"MAT!" Britt screamed, but he couldn't help him, couldn't touch him. "MAT STOP!" But by now Mat was already starting up a tree with low enough branches.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan raised his head. "I'm not leaving-..." He swallowed back another gag when he saw Mat trying to climb the tree, and stumbled to his feet, throwing himself down. "Mat don't!" He pulled himself up into the branches. "Stop, damnit you idiot!" He couldn't stop the flow of tears anymore, this was all too much. He wrapped arms around him the same moment his foot slipped, sobbing as branches tore at his sides faintly. He managed to brace both of them, heard the branch groaning with their weight.

"I love you so much, Mat..." He hugged him closer. They were close enough to the ground, no damaged, right? He let go of the branch.

His back struck the ground and he gasped harshly, groaning at the painful impact and rolling over, hugging Mat closer.