[CLOSED] we die young.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"I may as well just.. gaurentee my spot in hell.. It sounds a lot better than this.." He drummed his fingers against his thighs, looking over into the water. He watched it crash onto the shore, then retreat back. Then com crashing in again, then sweep back out. He took in a deep breath, watching it for a moment more.

"How bad do you want that kiss?" He asked, searching his face. He chewed on his lip, tears starting to fall down his cheeks again. He wiped at his cheeks, waiting for his answer.

[dylan flambyte parker]

"I want it Mat..but...not if it's gonna hurt you more.." He shook his head. "I don't want you hurt...I hate seeing you cry... I'll live the rest of my life in damned nightmares and masked acts if it means you're happy how you are, just so I can't be called selfish. Cos that's all I am. I have fucking Nash and all I wanted is you.."

Tears dripped down his cheek and nose gradually. This time he didn't bother brushing them away.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"That's just it, Dylan.. You have him, and taking you from him would be selfish. It doesn't matter what we had before, Dylan.. You have him now. I told you this is a one way road, that I'm always going to love you. And I do.. I love you.. But I love you enough to let you go." He really didn't want to. If he had known that this would have happened, he would have pretended to be sick. If it meant he could be alive with Dylan now. He looked down at his hands and saw the ring.

'I don't wanna marry you, I just want everybody else to know you're mine..' The words echoed in his head again and he started crying all over again. "I love you, Dylan.." He whispered.

[dylan flambyte parker]

"I love you too Mat..." He whispered, gazing at him quietly for a moment. "I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to let you go, either..don't want to see you without that ring, to know you're not mine anymore..."

He bit at his lip. "It's gonna be a hard choice, but I want you both, and I'm gonna find a way to have you both if you get your wings. It's selfish, but I gotta find a way to make you both happy...I gotta." He rubbed at his face.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"I'll always be yours.." He whispered, looking over at him. He started swatting at him. "Damnit, stop chewing on your lip!" He complained. "It's bad and you need to stop. I'm dead so I can do it. But this isn't monkey say, monkey do. You're gonna leave a mark. Remember that time I was trying so hard not to moan I bit into my lip and drew blood? That's why you don't do that." That was when he leaned he didn't care who heard him moan. He had no shame.

"You.. If I have to be your friend, that's fine, Dylan.." He said, looking over at him.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan bit his lip again out of habit, catching himself and reluctantly letting go. "I just don't want either of you hurt... I'm being so fucking selfish.." He sighed shakily, shaking his head.

Sand stuck to his cheek but he didn't bother with it. "I feel so fucking pathetic," He mumbled.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"I know, Dylan.. But if being with him is really what you want, then I understand. All I want is for you to be happy." He mumbled, looking up at the sky. He watched the clouds pass, wondering if his little baby sister that died was up there.

"Maybe one day you can give him my ring, yeah?" He turned it around and around on his finger, closing his eyes. He remembered when Dylan put it on. And he died with it on. It was probably on his body back in his grave. He took in a deep breath, simply by habit. He tried to pull again but it didn't come off.

[dylan flambyte parker]

"I dunno what I want anymore," He mumbled. "It's confusing..." he glanced up, sitting up some at the next words. "No," He huffed instantly, looked away. "No..." He murmured softly. "That ring was for you only.."

He swallowed. "I-...I don't have it in me to give another ring to somebody..." He felt sick with speaking such words, found it fucked. But he knew it was true.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

He nodded slowly, wrapping his arms around himself. He felt cold. Always. He drummed his fingers on his elbows, then reached up, running his fingers across the scorpion on his neck; an odd thing, only having four legs on one side and three on the other. But Mat would never tell if it was on purpose or accident.

"When did you decide you wanted to marry me?" He asked, glancing over at him. He knew he would never get married now, even if he could get his body back. He didn't want anyone besides Dylan.

"Maybe.. If I get wings.. I'll put it on a chain.." He mumbled, a tear falling down his cheek. "So I'll always have it with me.."

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan licked his lips. "I was gonna ask you after the twelvth show..." He rasped brokenly. "Had decided the night before that I would..." He sighed shakily. "All I though when your guitar first went up was 'he's gonna die, I just lost everything.' Never expected the entire stage to go up.."

Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. "Not keep it on your finger..?" But why would he? If he wasn't Dylan's....why would he wear it? He let out a shaky breath.