[CLOSED] we die young.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat bit his lip. He could tell it hurt Dylan so bad, that he was blaming himself. "If you won't be okay, then I won't leave.." He mumbled. He could hear a voice in his head, a voice that he hadn't heard before.

'You can always touch him.. Come with me and I'll show you how.. You can be with him until you die. Again.'

'No..' He wasn't going to pull a Britt and make any deals with anyone. Especially Satan. He wanted to touch him again so bad, but it wasn't worth probably ruining what he had with the boy just for another selfish kiss.

"I'm not going anywhere this time, Dylan.. I'm going to be here with you no matter what." He whispered, reaching up to touch his cheek. He thought for a second he could feel his skin, then his hand passed through his jaw again.

"FUCK THIS." He screamed, sitting up and putting his head in his hands.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan sighed shakily. "I'm being selfish," He mumbled under his breath. He worked his jaw, gazing at his quietly. He bit his lip at the words, wathing him reach out. He felt nothing, winced as Mat screamed a curse.

"Isn't fucking fair.." He whispered brokenly, jaw trembling some. "Damned rules." He shook his head, swallowing. "Every time, I expect to feel your touch when you do that..." His voice was strained.

"And I feel nothing but a deeper want, wish, than before."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"The selfish one here is me, wanting you for myself. I couldn't do that to that poor boy.. If he's lucky enough to get you, I would feel horrible taking you away. That's selfish. You just want one more touch." He kept his head in his hands, tears falling down his cheeks.

"It's like.. when you're trying to do something and you just keep getting it wrong, it keeps slipping through your fingers.." He ran his fingers across the shaved sides of his head. Right before he died, they had grown out enough to see his black roots just under the white dye. "It's frustrating. Taunting people is one thing, but having the person you love with all your heart right there, and not being able to touch him, or kiss him.."

[dylan flambyte parker]

"No..I would give anything for one touch, I want far, far more..." He looked over at him. "I-...I hate seeing you cry and not being able to do anything...even if I can never romantically be with you again...I-..I would give anything to have you here just to hold, just to love as even a friend if I had to...anything to just have you..."

He swallowed, wiping at his running nise, and smiled sadly. "You keep making me happy and sad..I feel so bipolar," He complained, trying to offer at least a little bit of comfort.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat wanted to reach over and hug him, but he knew he couldn't. He would just pass right through him again. He honestly wanted to disappear. He had made Dylan feel bad, and he probably would have been better off just thinking he was in his grave. He really didn't want to stay anymore, take the chance that he might take Dylan away from the boy.

'So, what did I do wrong?' He thought, figuring he may as well get it over and done with, get out of Dylan's life for good.

'That girl you tortured all during middle school? She lost her entire family and has been trying to kill herself. You made her feel bad enough about herself she turned to drugs.' Was his answer. He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan bit his lip at the silence. "Mat?" He mumbled quietly, reaching a hand out. It fisted and he cursed under his breath, dropping it into the sand again. He shook his head. "I hate not being able to comfort you, you know?"

He swallowed, clearing his throat, and felt a headache coming on. Far too much alcohol last night. He rubbed at his temples.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"Huh?" He looked over at him, unaware he was so deep in his own thoughts. He was a lot quieter now that he was dead. "Yeah, me too.." He mumbled, not really catching what he had said. He wiped at his cheeks, drying the tears there.

"You're gonna be okay here, Dyl?" He asked, crying again. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't ruin what Dylan had with his boyfriend.

'Just one more kiss.. One.. Please.. You can send me to hell, I'll burn there forever. Just.. One more kiss..' He pleaded, running his fingers through his hair. He was on the verge of hysterics, that first year of being dead seeming to come at him all over again.

"You're gonna be okay without me?"

[dylan flambyte parker]

"N-..no Mat..." Dylan whimpered. "I-...I'll never be okay without you..never gonna be the same...even Britt can see that, you know?" He swallowed.

"Why...? Y-..you're leaving?" He wiped at his eyes, didn't want him to go. "I'm being selfish, I'm sorry." He collapsed backwards, curling up on his side. He wondered what would happen if he fell asleep here, if the tide came in. He shook the thought away, wasn't quite ready to go to hell.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat saw the hurt in Dylan's eyes. He couldn't deal with the fact that he hurt him. It was killing him.

"I'm not leaving if you don't want me to.." He said quietly. He laid beside him, moving as close to him as he could get. "I can go fix this.. And not be in limbo anymore.. But there's not a promise I'm going to come back.. And if I get to stay, if I get my wings.. and I can touch you.. Going to hell sounds better than ruining your relationship.."

[dylan flambyte parker]

"You get your wings, I can see you again soon," He mumbled, wondering if Mat would just visit or become someone's gaurdian. "But if you don't, I'll know...and I'll just have to live this life within myself, pretending, and see you in hell when I die," He said bluntly, shrugging.

He tried to feign indifference, but it wasn't exactly working, he knew. Being so close but not able to touch him...
"I just want you happy, too..."