[Closed] Can't Forget Family~

[jayson thomas christopher]

Jayson shrugged. "I guess," He murmured softly, licking at his lips. He sighed, lowering his gaze some. "I just..lost myself yaknow? Didn't know what to do."

Smoke curled past his lips and nose without a care what it was doing to his lungs. Tapping ashes, he bit his lip. "Yeah..we get along, but he's got his own problems to deal with anything, lost both his parents."

[caine johnson]

Caine sighed, everything seemed so forced. Nothing was natural. It didn't seem as though Jayce had fallen way off track, but Caine felt responsible. Why would God just let him wonder around this place lonely, only letting him see his brother now? He leaned against he chain, resting his head against the coldness. It helped calm his nerves, and his mind cleared some.

"Oh.." Caine wasn't sure of what to say anymore. He had ran out of questions, not wanting to dig into any more memories of a year ago. "Do you go to the college here?..." His fingers drummed against his leg, hoping the mood would lighten soon.

[jayson thomas christopher]

Jayson shook his head. "No," He mumbled. "Barely graduated. I work at Spencer's and play in a band," He shrugged indifferently. It was so hard to grasp at this... Thinking your brother was dead for a year after seeing gim die, and now be sitting next to him.

"So, apparently since you haven't been dead, what have you been up to?" The words held an edge, an unspoken question. 'Why didn't you come find me sooner?'

[caine johnson]

Caine nodded, "That's pretty cool. Your band good?" He moved side to side on the swing, readjusting himself to be comfortable. It had been a long night, but he wasn't ready to go home. He knew he had time to recover with his brother, especially since he hadn't found him sooner. He wanted to reach out and hug Jayce, like nothing had changed, but Caine knew it had and it wouldn't take awhile to go back to normal. If that even happened..

"I've been in heaven.. til yesterday. I came back a couple times, but never stayed.. I didn't remember anyone, couldn't find anyone that could trigger my memory either.." He paused, thinking of what it would have been like if he had ran into Jayce when he first visited Earth. "I met someone yesterday though, she's a sweet and amazing girl.." Caine wanted to say he felt at home with her, but didn't. "She got me to stay this time.. or at least for awhile.. But I don't really want to leave anymore.. I feel horrible that I didn't meet you sooner.."

[jayson thomas christopher]

"I guess we are," He mumbled, shrugging some. "I think." He rocked his heels, causing the swing to continue moving gently. He glanced at Caine indifferently at the next words. "Guess you could have, but you said you couldn't remember so.." He lowered his gaze, turning his interest to the cigarette to hide any emotion. "It's just...hard to imagine you here after seeing you fuckin' die like that Caine..."

[caine johnson]

Caine shut his eyes, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. How could he do this to his brother? Would it have been bett to pretend he had no idea what Jayce was talking about? That he was just another guy named Caine? He couldn't imagine how it felt to remember that day, first hand.

But Caine didn't suffer in pain... wasn't that a good thing? No, he ha dmade his brother suffer. He was to blame for the changes in his brother. A silent tear ran down his face, his finger flicking it away. It wasn't the time to be weak. "I never meant to... hurt you so bad. You were my brother.. my best friend.. I should have tried harder.. I should have been there.. I should have found you first.. explained everything.." Caine puffed his cheeks, exhaling deeply, releasing the emotion he held inside. "But what would I even explain... I was given no memory except for three names. I was given no help." He jumped from his seat, pacing, hoping the anger would wear off. "Damnit" He mummbled as he rested his head against the cold frame of the swing set.

[jayson thomas christopher]

"Caine it's not your fault," He whispered softly. "You weren't the drunk in the other car, and your weren't the one driving ours..." Hesitantly he stood, approaching his brother, laid a hand on his shoulder a moment.

He chewed on his lip. "You had no control over any of it..." Then he turned him, hugged him tight. "God...I missed you so fuckin' much..." He rasped brokenly. "A year brother....Every night when I went to bed, every day when I woke up...it played over and over in my head...I was so afraid of losing the memory of your face, the sound of your voice.." Steady tears rolled down his face. "I'm sorry...."

[caine johnson]

His shoulder became warm, his mind slipped from concentraing on the cold bar to the hand on his shoulder. It might not have been his fault, but he had screwed up, overwhelmed with anger at himself. "I let you down.. I didn't try hard enough.. I was suppose to be there for you.." His voice was a whisper, his head shook back and forth as he leaned away from the bar. "But no.. I stayed for a day.. then left.. not being able to remember anything new.. I did it time and time again, never seeking for any clues of what happened... or where you were..." His feet spun, the warm arms of his brother embracing him.

"I only remembered your name.. and you tried everyday to not forget me.." Caine hugged his brother back, more silent tears dripped down his cheeks. He felt empty, as if part of him was missing. His heart raced against he inside of his chest, he remembered playing on the swings wih Jayce when they were little. He stepped back, wiping his face free from tears. "Guess I would be the whimp for crying now.." He laughed, but it was short and husky.

[jayson thomas christopher]

Jayson shook his head gently. "It's not your fault you couldn't remember...I wish y-..you would have looked harder sooner.." His grip tightened stubbornly. He felt Caine pull back and gazed at him, smiled with a choke laugh through the tears, wiping them away angrily.

"You a whimp?" He shook his head, sniffing faintly. "That makes me one too, then." He sighed shakily, staring down at the ground. "well damn.."

[caine johnson]

His eyes shut tightly, hoping no more tears would fall. "I know I should have tried harder.. I should have done anything and everything.." Caine shook his head, disappointed with himself. He fought with his mind, back and forth, as the silence grew. He truly had no words to describe how horrible he felt for leaving his brother.. and then not trying hard enough to find him. "I.. I'm just so happy that your here," He paused, not knowing how else to phrase what he was feeling. The year he had been gone, had put a hole through his heart, tearing it apart. But see Jayce, it seemed to slowly heal. "I'm not ever gonna leave you again.." He mummbled, and he knew he could make that promise.

As long as Jayce needed him, wanted him, Caine would be there for him. Truthfully, Caine needed Jayce. His mind raced through hat fateful night one last time, befoe he looked to see the pale eyes of his brother. Caine could see the hurt in his eyes, and it made his heart skip a beat, but not in a good way. It just felt painful to see his brother like this. "Besides trying to remember me.. and getting in trouble.. What have you been doing?" Caine broke eye contact, now looking at a tree out in the distance.
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