[OPEN] 'a series of attacks,' they said.

[nevada 'vegas' jayvon hanson]

Nevada folded the pillow, tucking it under his head. He pulled the blanket over himself as he curled up in the chair, fitting surprisingly well in the small space. He looked back over at Ryan, raising an eyebrow.

"What? I have clothes on." He complained, pulling the blanket over his head. He just didn't want to leave him out here alone. It seemed rude to leave someone out in the living room alone. He peeked out from the blankets and rubbed his nose. "You can watch something on the TV." He offered.

[ryan leonardo matson]

Ryan chuckled. "And? I'm curious, sorry." He smiled, finishing the beer rather quick and setting the bottle out of the way, curling up on the couch and drawing the blanket close as he reached for the remote.

Nevada had possibly saved him from a long and miserable, self wallowing night. He turned on the TV, flipping through channels.

[nevada 'vegas' jayvon hanson]

"What's there to be curious about? I'm just a grown adult man who can fit in a chair. No big deal." He said, stretching out a bit before he curled back up. He glanced up at the TV, but the angle made his eyes hurt, so he closed them, turning over onto his back. He hug his legs off the sofa, playing with his fingers again. He tried not to think of August, and what he had done. And it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it made him feel like a cheat. Even if it wasn't his fault. He rubbed absently at his face, yawning again.

[ryan leonardo matson]

Ryan shrugged, stopping on a random show that only vaguely kept his attention as he curled up, glancing at his phone. He paused, running his thumb fondly over the young woman and him smiling on the screen background. His sister had been his best friend. Sighing, he set the phone down and closed his eyes tight, rolling onto his stomach and burying his fce stubbornly in the pillow.

[nevada 'vegas' jayvon hanson]

Nevada watched him, then closed his eyes, listening to the drone of the TV. He hadn't had much time to watch it, had been working to try and keep busy. He had hoped it would keep his mind off of things. After awhile, he fell into a light sleep. Between the drone of the TV, and the fresh memory of his assault, his dreams were confusing. He didn't understand them, and woke in the morning with nothing but a headache and a feeling of terror in his stomach. He looked around, then put his pillow in his lap, taking in a deep breath. 'I shouldn't live alone..' He thought.

[ryan leonardo matson]

Ryan was curled on his side, watching cartoons sleepily no matter his age. "You know, if I hadn't run into you last night, I'd probably be dead by now," He mumbled when he noticed him awake. "You seem alright enough, nobody I will deny suicide to." He yawned, stretching lazily as he pulled his blanket closer around himself.

[nevada 'vegas' jayvon hanson]

"If I hadn't run into you, I might still be walking to my house." He said, trying to ease the tension. He might not be the same Vegas, but he still tried to be funny. He tapped his fingers on his pillow, thinking over everything he could say before he actually spoke.

"Why would you want to die, Ryan? You have like.. so much going for you. You're handsome, you're kind, you're a teacher. People need teachers and not everyone has it in them to do it. Your kids need you, you know.." He looked down at his pillow. He wished he had so many people to live for. But he had one. One who may as well be the world.

[ryan leonardo matson]

Ryan smirked. "Yeah maybe. And I would be sitting on my headstone feeling guilty for letting you," He teased, sighed at the next question. "Yeah well, kids are a temporary fix. Four years and then they graduate, move on. I live day to day as a teacher because around people, I know I won't hurt myself. But going home to that apartment every night, alone... Gunman killed our parents when we were teens. I got my little sister out, we found jobs, went to school. I don't know why he came back, why he killed her too after so many years.. Every day I walk into that apartment and I can still see her body on that floor, the blood on the walls." He let out a slow breath. "Why live when I have nothing here to live for anymore? I couldn't even keep my little sister safe. Maybe suicide will end me up in Hell if it exsists..but...any chance at a chance to see them again, is better one taken than living a pointless life here."

He bit his lip. "I killed him. Coldblooded murder. Got away with it for being a cop, but it isn't even a job I want. I haven't even moved.. If you look close enough, you can still see her blood in the carpet... Haunts me every damn night."

[nevada 'vegas' jayvon hanson]

"That's no reason to die.. I have no one, either. You have to find someone. Suicide is a really permanent solution to a temporary problem.. And they get better. Why don't you live and keep her memory alive? When you die, everyone forgets.. As long as you're alive, a piece of her is still alive in you." He looked over at him. He felt terrible, knowing he had to live like that for the rest of his life. He didn't think it was fair, that one person could go and ruin another person's life just like that.

"You can't die.. Maybe someone else needs you.." He mumbled.

[ryan leonardo matson]

Ryan shrugged. "Maybe I'm ready for a perminant solution." He mumbled. "One I can make before anyone else needs me. I'm tired of people needing me, it doesn't get me anywhere good, it just leaves them disappointed." He sighed.

"If there's a heaven out there, I would end my life any day to see her she. She's all I had left. Six months isn't enough time to move on, but it's too long to pretend. None of my kids know, and some day it'll happen, I'll just be gone. 'Oh the gym teacher yeah. He never said much about it, just finally lost his mind and blew his brains out.'" He shrugged. "One way to go out is without pride sure, cowards way out.. But at this point, I'm okay with being a coward, cos I won't be alive to hear that I am, anyway. You ever faced death in the eyes of a barrel? A cowards way out is still a way out..that's all I want sometimes...scary, being alone.. Cos I know I'll do it too."