[CLOSED] love? fuck that.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"Really pretty." He smiled. "I still have my jack-o-lantern on my back. I think I got enough ink before I died.." He had more hidden under his shirt, but he had a few on his hands too. He had 'HALLOWEEN' and 'bookworm' tattooed on his fingers, along with a moustache on one of his index fingers among others on his lower arms.

"I think tattoos are like.. a story. They tell what a person might not. Like scars." He raised his shirt, showing him the 'search and destroy' from side to side, wrapping around his stomach. He had carved Dylan's name into one of his arms after one of their fights. He wished he hadn't now, couldn't bare to roll up his sleeves.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Devon smiled faintly as he looked at him. "Lot's of Dylan's tell stories. I don't think he had them all when you died. "He's got True Love across his knuckles, mum and dad on his hands. He got a pretty girl skull. Bunches of stuff. Chrystian said if you look hard enough, 'Mat' is hidden everywhere in the art. Name, initials, nicknames." He chewed on his snakebites thoughtfully. "But only people up real close can see it. Like he wanted it that way."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat pushed up his sleeve. On his wrist was 'revenge.' written in a type writer font, and above it there were roses, a heart with a knife through it, stars and dots and on the front of his arm was the Virgin Mary. His entire left arm had been done, and very little on his right. In the middle of the heart, though, the scarred skin had Dylan's name carved into it, deep enough to distort that part of the tattoo.

"I don't have a lot on my right arm. I guess he just.. didn't want anyone to know about me.." He shrugged, pushing his sleeve back down and buttoning it.

[devon splyce parker]

"He didn't want people to know how much he still loved you," He mumbled absently. "So only people he trusts can really see it, like it was all only for you."

He stared at the scar long and hard. "Why'd you carve his name?" His head tilted some, running a finger back and forth in the sand.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"It was like, a few months after we started dating, right before the tour. And he was like.. high or something. Out with some friends and I was walking back home from the library and he ran into me and asked where I'd been and I was like 'studying' and he didn't believe me.. He said I was cheating on me, that I didn't love him. So I just like, went home and dug his name into my skin with my pocket knife. Went to school the next day and told him if he thought I didn't love him, I obviously loved him enough to tear apart my arm and leave his name there.. I don't know. It was fucking stupid, you know? None of it matters now.." He drug his foot across his grave. "Everything between us is just like, a memory now.. It doesn't fucking matter.."

[devon splyce parker]

"It mattered to him if he tattooed your name all over his body," He pointed out, smiled. He was innocent, slow. But he was wise.

"Don't say that.. It all means something. He loves you, you love, or at least loved him.. It's simple." He nodded. "I never felt love after you left. Until Zander, but I didn't remember it till then. Love hurts. But only love can heal what love has hurt."

He nodded again, something he did when agreeing with his own point. "So it all matters, that way you can love him again and fix the broken inside. He could do the same I think...he's just gotta learn how to again."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat couldn't help but want to point out the flaws in that. Dylan had a boyfriend he wasn't going to give up, Mat didn't know how much longer he had left, Dylan didn't want someone he was going to lose again, Mat didn't want to leave him hurt.. He just nodded and pretended to agree.

"Yeah, that's right. Zander will show you what love is, if he's as nice as you say he is." He looked up at someone walking into the cemetery. It was that boy Dylan loved so much. 'Fuck you.' He thought, and that voice inside his head laughed. He tore his eyes away before he stared daggers into him.

"So, do you have anything you like to do now? Anything new around town since I died?" He asked, looking over at Devon, the hurt all too obvious in his face.

[devon splyce parker]

Devon nodded. "He is," He insisted. Looking up, he shook his head. "I don't do nothin'..." His voice trailed as he spotted the boy, then looked back at Mat and frowned.

"I wanna hug you.." He complained, finally having learned what it did for people. "Why's he make you sad, Mat? He the one who took Dylan away?"

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"Good. You deserve nothing but the very best." He said with a smile, folding his hands in his lap. He refused to look over at the boy.

"Yeah. I guess.. He must be pretty damn special to take away my last five years. He can't even hear. He's like.. whatever. I'm gonna shut the fuck up." He fell silent, tears falling down his cheeks. He wiped at them absently, unable to look up at Devon. "You're not the only person he's hurting now, baby.. He's torn my heart out of my chest." He glanced up at the boy. Devon didnt deserve that. "You tell him if he ever hits you again to come take it out on me. Tell him the words came from Mat's fucking mouth."

[devon splyce parker]

Devon smiled at the first words, but frowned as he listened. "Don't cry, Mat..." He murmured. He couldn't touch him and obviously knew that, because he sat on his hands when he tried reaching out to him again.

"No, he don't need to hurt you, can he touch you?" He gazed over at him with curious but otherwise emotionless baby blue eyes. "He can keep hurting me, if it makes him feel better...."