[OPEN] im not o-fucking-kay.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat had gotten tired of sitting around at the graveyard, thinking about Dylan and everything he could have done differently. He had finally decided he didn't care what he did right or wrong. He was going to go walk. And just outside of town, he found what he was looking for- an old theater. He wandered inside, and up on the stage. It was all too familiar, all those days in high school coming here, playing for the rest of the school kids.

He wandered around the back of the stage, rummaging through the boxes. He found an old guitar, and dusted it off. He carried it out to the stage again, plugging it into the amp.

"If this place has power.." He trailed off. He flipped on the amp and it made a familiar noise, all the proof he needed that this place had power. He grabbed a pick off the top of it and started to tune the guitar. He started playing a random tune, rocking back and forth on his feet. Soon enough he was being typical Mat, bouncing around the stage.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan watched silently from the shadows, a smile playing on his lips. He listened silently, frowned a bit as he rubbed at his face. He had talked to Nash, hoped he was doing okay.

He waited for what Mat was doing to fall to a stop.

"If I can't crawl inside of you,
I'm laughing with a broken face
I stumble across my self esteem.
But to picture the pleasure is making me want my space...."

He sang softly from the shadows, eyes watching for a reaction. Then he stood, stepped a bit closer.

"...Understand...
that God wrapped you like a bow.
But in my head...
There's some shelves that need cleaning,
from basement to ceiling, control...."

He let out a shaky breath, stepping towards the stage.

"....If what you're seeing is an open book,
that's great 'cause I'm an open book.
But I'm real shy.

There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up.
That's strange 'cause I'm an open book, a confused boy.

I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage,
give and not receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice...."

He wrapped arms around Mat as he approached him, held out his tattooed hand.

"...I've got this post dramatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
around my wedding finger and that'ss where I want to state this claim.
That I've got to learn to live and dream
before I go and get myself in love.

In love.

Before, before, before I go and get myself in love...."

He let him go, sitting down on the stage, staring out across the empty area, imagining how it used to be filled and lively. Used to be such a happy place.

"There's Zoloft, Welbutrin, there's Paxil that's proven, no side effects.
But the rest left unnamed 'cause they worked like a charm on me.

But when your saving is drying,
you can't stop from crying
you've got to suck it up.
You're not her buttercup,
you're not her favorite book.

And I am an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
My heart while in its cage,
give and not receive a thing,
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice.

I've got this post dramatic thing
I've got this tattoo of a ring that lies
around my wedding finger and thats where I want to state this claim.
That I've got to learn to live and dream
before I go and get myself in love.

In love.

Before, before, before I go and get myself in love...."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat leaned down beside him, placing a kiss gently on his neck. He played the guitar slowly behind his back. It wasn't an acoustic, but it would have to do. The melody was relaxing, the one song Britt had written and taught Mat, off Britt's EP when he had a band. He started to sing quietly in his ear, his fingers moving slowly across the neck of the guitar.

"Every time I sing it's like I'm singing to no one and nothing at all can replace what is missing.. You left me the victim but what does it matter? It's here where you're lacking, never get better.. And every time you're hearing this song, babe, I'm thinking about you.. Please hold on. If real love is forever, then forever I'll wait for you.. Surrender your heart and just know that I'll miss you. Believe in this trust and never let go. Cause I'm taking your pictures and holding them tight . Cause I don't know when I'll be coming home.." He dropped the note, and slipped the guitar off his shoulder and over his head. He laid it down on the stage, then sat down beside Dylan.

"You're stalking me, Parker?" He asked with a smile, twisting the ring around on his finger. He looked down at it, chewing on his lip ring.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan smiled up at him softly, eyes closing. "Mh..You weren't at the cemetery, I figured you would be here.." He leaned back, bracing his weight on his palms. "And I thought right, huh?" He rubbed Mat's back gently. "So that would be a yes, Blank."

Leaning over, his kissed him gently on the temple. "How're you..?"
'Stupid fucking question Dylan,' He sneered at himself.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"I'm alright." He said, starting to undo the clasps on his vest. He pulled it off, tossing it to the stage beside him. He hadn't been alright, he had been on the verge of actually hanging himself. But something about being back up on stage, jumping around made it better. He didn't care if he had an audience of none, or one, or a hundred. As long as he was doing what he loved.

"Better now, I guess." He started fixing his tie, then rubbed a permanently red and black eye.

"How's the kids?" He asked, referring to his brother, his dog, and his boyfriend. 'Before, 'kids' were just Princess and Devon..' He thought, drumming his fingers on his legs.

[dylan flambyte parker]

"You held me and taught me how....I think I am ready now...if this is the way it ends, then this is the way it's meant to be..." He sang softly, hugging Mat close. He bit his lip.

"Okay...I guess.." He'd chased Devon off, was waiting from a call from Nash...was dreading it. He had told him though, all about Mat.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat leaned against him for a moment, rubbing his arm gently before he sat back up. He nodded, chewing on his lip ring again. He couldn't help wondering if everything would have been better if he had just stayed at the graveyard..

He picked at one of his chipped black nails, looking down into his lap. He kicked his feet back and forth, listening to them thump against the side of the stage.

"That's good." He finally mumbled, not realizing just how lost in thought he was. He had chewed so much on his lip, there was blood dripping down his chin onto his black pants. He wiped at it with the back of his hand, rubbing it on his jeans.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan again reached over and pulled him close. "Not really.." He murmured quietly under his breath. "I...think Nash understands I can't...love him like I do you...that I just..wanna be there...help him..." His breaths wavered and he swallowed.

His grip tightened further.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat patted his shoulder gently. "It's okay, Dylan. Don't squish me to death now." He said, moving into Dylan's lap. He hoped that would mean he would ease up on his grip.

"I love you, okay? It's alright." He said, wrapping his arms gently around his neck. He got situated, letting his hands fall into his lap as he laid his head on Dylan's shoulder, playing with one of Dylan's hands.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan swallowed, easing up some with a mumbled sorry, gazing down at the four letters tattooed on each hand over his knuckles. 'True love'. He chewed on his lip some.

"You're everything I ever wanna be..the only thing I ever need to know.. and I sneak across the world to let 'im go..." He sang softly. "Cos when the evening comes..we'll set the world on fire. And I was wrong..let me help you move on..."

He closed his eyes again, a tear rolled down his cheek as he held Mat. He felt horrible, just wanted everything to work out. He had Mat back...but he didn't want Nash hurt in any way..wanted to be there for him.