[CLOSED] goodbye means nothing at all.

[chandler teague rowlf]

Chandler paled at the news, but didn't exactly show any emotion. He couldn't. He had honestly forgotten how. He spent his days and nights alone. He lowered his gaze, tapping his finger on the table. He bit his lip, then shook his head. "I guess it would have been different if I had been here.. If I hadn't been gone so long.. I dunno." He shrugged his shoulders, rubbing absently at an eye. It's like this wasn't his family any more.

"Do you have a girlfriend or a wife or something?" He asked. "Kids? Did you ever get that dog?"

'You can't have a tiger, Chandler!' He could still hear his mother scolding him when he was younger. He smiled a bit, lowering his head again.

[terance jayrod rowlf]

"It was cancer, Chan. There's nothing you could have done." He shook his head.

"Ah, no. Some..stuff happened several months ago.. And I broke it off, live alone, no dog or kids.." He smiled, just slightly, then stared down at the table.

"Trying to catch up with college, actually. I was..in the hospital for awhile, actually." He ran his hands through his hair, not thinking this would be so hard.

"Dad turned to alcohol, I decided not to go to college, help him. And...one day he just...got crazy enough to kick me out. All it took was a lit cigarette and lighter fluid..fire in places you don't want fire. So..college funds when to skin grafts instead, chest down to mid thigh." He stretched a bit.

"Had to start over again," He shrugged. "Broke it off with the girl, stopped talking to people..and, here I am, I guess."

[chandler teague rowlf]

Chandler couldn't help but get frustrated. He didn't think their dad was capable of hurting his own son. But then again, he didn't think that he himself was capable of shooting people in the head, either.

"I.. half of my fucking /check/ every month went into savings for you, okay? Half. And I make a lot of money." He gritted his teeth, growing angry. "See, this is what pisses me off. That money was for you, so you could go to college. And because I was stationed in Austria-" Oh, how tempted he was to tell him where he really was stationed.. "-and couldn't have any contact with you, that money is still sitting in the fucking bank. Why? Because they didn't tell you." He felt like punching his superior in the nose for doing that.

"You have a ton of money now, though. And don't tell me to take it back because I know you will. And I'm gonna fix you of that. Because it's in your name and your name only and I can't go and touch that money. So you can't give it back. And you'd better use it, too. Or I'm gonna pin you down until you cry uncle." He pointed at him, serious about him taking the money.

[terance jayrod rowlf]

Terance watched him, shrugging. "Yeah, I'd say take it back, I don't hae a reason for that money, Chandler... I threw everything out. Cheap college, I live alone. My job pays my rent and groceries for one.. I'm content, I guess. Maybe those big plans weren't something I ever had a chance at following through with.."

'Yeah Chan? Well I'm gonna be part of CSI.' He smiled faintly at the playful memories, shook his head. "I'm just a ghost of what I used to be, Chandler. You can't lose anymore that way, and you don't have to open your arms to judgement. Alone is...familiar, now. No priorities but work and school. And you." He smiled just slightly, thinking of the girl he had eaten lunch with the other day. She had seemed decent enougb, for a high school drop out. At least she was trying to turn her life around.

"I don't know..what happened to me, quite honestly. I'm..still the guy who strives for praise but...holding everything in, sometimes it's just-...." He shrugged. "I'm the quiet guy at the bar that beats the shit out of a drunk trying to fuck with him. That's all I am, okay? Those dreams, Chan? They were just dreams..."

[chandler teague rowlf]

"You're only ever going to be what you make yourself out to be, T. If you're content to sit there and go to a two-bit college, hide from society, then do it. But you're a Rowlf and I don't give a fuck- dad has nothing to do with that. You're part of MY family. You've got MY last name. I spent seven years away from here to give you better, not because I fucking wanted to. Trust me." He rubbed at his eye, taking his hat off his leg to mess with it.

"Every rank I got was for you. Every promotion, every paycheck, every sleepless night. I did things no man should have to do, Terance. But I did it for you and I don't regret it. If there's a God, I'm being sent straight to hell. But I don't care. I did what I done for you. I was mocked overseas, okay? I was mocked at basic. I come back here and I get dirty looks. If I wanted to live in a shell, I would have been a turtle. Sometimes you just gotta raise your middle finger and realize what you're living for. And that is to give me some little nieces and nephews. Damnit." He tossed his hat at him. "You can be anything you want. Everyone who hates you for it is just pissed they couldn't make it as far as you did. Every struggle is worth it in the end.."

[terance jayrod rowlf]

Terance shook his head slowly as his brother spoke, leaning back and watching him. He smirked slightly, catching the hat. "Don't throw things at me," He complained childishly. "What was 'at for, ol' chap?" He stuck his tongue out, trying to lighten the mood, leaned forward.

"Look, I see what you're getting at, okay? I lost everything, I needed a way to cope. My parents, my brother, my girl." He shrugged. "I had to start over, Chandler. I'm not who I used to be.." No shit he had killed people, that was..part of being what they were, he supposed.

He pulled the scarf from his neck and unzipped his jacket, lifting his shirt just enough to see the faint lick of scars on his stomach, growing more noticeable as they went up his chest, as well as where they disappeared into his jeans. "That's where you're wrong though, Chandler. Not every struggle it worth it. I tried to help him cope. He tried to kill me."

He cleared his throat, coughing softly before swallowing. He usually fell into bouts of coughing fits after any heavy excersize. Lung damage, they said. He fixed his jacket and got up. "Want anything?" He didn't wait for a reply as he headed towards the counter, ordered a burger and soda and returned. He played absently with his bare ring finger as he took a swallow of soda, leaning back in the bench seat once more.

[chandler teague rowlf]

"Please. Like there's a girl good enough for my brother." He rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the question. He had stopped eating. Food, anyways. Humans we sparse, his body learning to live off the small amounts of blood he allowed it. Some would call it torture, he would call it hate. For what he was. A monster, as far as he was concerned.

"I guess you'll have to settle for one of these measly girls. Cause I'm telling you, I want a little kid I can take to the park, damnit. Uncle Chandler." Everyone knew from an early age that Chandler didn't like people, he had the ability to make people laugh but he couldn't get a girl. He avoided them at all costs. Some people had put it off as he was gay -and he had thought about guys, but he had never been able to see himself with anyone at all.

He took off his jacket, draping it over the back of his chair. One of his tattoo sleeves was visible, and the tiger on his arm, but everything else was hidden.

[terance jayrod rowlf]

Terance chuckled faintly. He knew he would be sick later if he ate anything but the meat on the sandwhich, most likely. He had built up somewhat of a tolerance, but it wasn't enough to pretend he wasn't what he was.

He shoved the burger aside some, still working on his soda. He had always wondered if, being born a vampire, they would ever stop getting older, or if they were mortal, but honestly he had never cared. He was alone so much it hadn't mattered, and here Chandler was telling him to find someone.

"Nice tattoos," He huffed with a smile, shifting his weight and looking around.

[chandler teague rowlf]

Chandler smiled, shrugging his shoulders as he looked out the window again. "They're alright." He mumbled, watching the people walk past. He had no interest in them, really. He had the same view back in Germany. He was just interested in hearing his brother's voice, being able to look over at him and know he was there, and not dead somewhere or hurt or broken. Not that he was much better off with Chandler here. It just made him feel better.

"I dunno how long I have here, if they're gonna let me stay or if I'm being shipped out again.." He said, looking over at his brother.

[terance jayrod rowlf]

Terance nodded slowly. "I figured..s'okay, I've built my expectations around you rarely being here..." It was sad but true, they both knew it. He shifted his weight a bit, staring down at his burger unappetized. Stretching his legs out a bit, he rubbed at his aching chest. "Ugh, I feel like shit after I run," He mumbled more to himself. Damn lungs.

He shook his head a bit, scratching at his jaw and chewing on the end of his straw some. "Soo.."