[CLOSED] we die young.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat smiled, sitting down next to him. "Yeah, but being a tease before had it's advantages. I got to make out on a tour bus with like, the hottest guy ever. And he would always manage to get me out of my clothes, and bang me until like, four in the morning until we finally crashed. But I think I can deal with seeing him again." He smiled over at him.

"I know you don't remember her. But she was pretty. Well, she had to be pretty. You and your brother aren't bad looking. I dunno. I talked to her for awhile, I think I cried for like, an entire year." He pulled out the house key, turning it over and over in his hands.

"I miss you too. On one hand, I want to know what I'm condemned here for, so I can fix it. But then I don't know if I'm going to hell. And If I go to hell, I can't come back. But if I got my wings, I could actually touch you and feel you and kiss you again.." He tried sticking the key in the sand, but it didn't work. "I'd go through the accident all over again if I could just kiss you one more time.."

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan laughed softly at the words. "Long nights," He murmured with another faint smile. He bit at his lip woth the next comment though, trying to remember if he had started abusing Devon after Mat's death. He was pretty sure that's what had triggered it.

"You go to hell, I'll meet you there," He mumbled. He was a born demonic creature, of cpurse he was going to hell.

Guilt washed over him when he found the wishes for just another kiss mutual, the fact that even now, he would give anything. But he couldn't have it both ways, couldn't have Mat and Nash both, and Mat probably felt different now, not to mention the way Dylan had put on a mask, the fact that they could not touch.

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"You can't help it what you were born, Dylan." He said, still trying to dig in the sand. But it just bounced back up, like it was being rejected. He kept pushing it in though, nothing better to do.

"I think the worst isn't the fact that I like, combusted. Or that I can't touch you. But that.. I'm always going to be the Mat that was in love with Dylan.. And that no matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving you.. I'm dead but I'm like.. Still the Mat you gave your house key to. The Mat that snuck into your bed so many nights it wasn't funny. The Mat that used to like, torment your little brother and your dad with stupid jokes.. And used to eat all your crackers. Because I was like, on a perma-high." He finally let go of the key and it disappeared back into his pocket.

"I still taste your dumb ass breath strips. Your mouth was the last thing mine touched, and now that's all I taste.." He grumbled, pulling out the picture again, his finger trailing over his features.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan tightened his jaw until it hurt and he had to stop. "I-.." He didn't know what to say. He'd destroyed his family bonds after that, turned mean. They were all afraid of him now...

Mat didn't know the half of it.

"That's the last time I used them.." He smiled faintly, felt bad though. Did Mat want to stop loving him? Had he tried?
"I changed everything on the outside Mat. So nobody could see how broken I am."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"Oh yeah, now that I'm dead you stop with the annoying things. I'm onto you, pickle head." He scolded, pointing a finger at him. It was obvious he was the exact same Mat he was before that last show.

"Why? That's stupid." He always wondered if Dylan stayed with him because he was brutally honest. Or because he really did love him. "I love the old Dylan. This one is too sad looking. Like he hasn't seen happy in like, three years. That Dylan always called me at weird hours of the morning, and he made everyone smile because when he smiled, you couldn't help but catch it. Like a bad cold." He moved a little closer, seeming to forget he couldn't touch him.

"I love you.." He whispered, looking up at him with red rimmed eyes.

[dylan flambyte parker]

Dylan's face felt hot with a new flow of tears. "I was sixteen then, Mat. Things change." He swallowed. "Maybe because I didn't want anyone else to try and love me...didn't want to move on. And now I've hurt too many people. I wish we could go back to the way things were is all.." He shrugged.

Mathieu's next words made his face heat up woth a new flush of tears and he fought them back. "I love you too..." He admitted. "That-....that's one thing about me that will never change, no matter who I meet or what I do..."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

Mat chewed on his lip, looking down into the sand. He tried putting his finger into it. "It's not that i don't want to love you, Dyl. It's that.. While I love you, I get no peace. It tears me apart, knowing what we had we can't have back.. That I'll never feel you again, and all I have is your voice in my head and this picture." He held it close, careful not to bend it. He started to cry, his tears dissappearing into his clothes.

[dylan flambyte parker]

"I-..." He reached a hand out, stopping short. He couldn't touch him...couldn't even comfort him. "Don't cry Mathieu..." But he had every reason to. He didn't even know what to say. "I-...I just-..."

He brushed at his own tears angrily. "I hate this so much..." He mumbled, voice wavering. "It isn't fair.." He moved closer, but it wouldn't provide much comfort to either of them. "I'm so, so sorry Mat..." He whimpered. "Things should be different, I shouldn't be like this...I....I really did want to marry you, you know?" He didn't bother stop the tears now. "Just thought I should wait a little longer. But every morning, waking up and realizing you're not there with me, I regret it more and more...you weren't just the love of my life Mat..you were my best friend, too.. Without you I'm a fucking mess."

[mathieu 'mat' darren blank]

"What are you sorry for, Dylan? There's nothing for you to be sorry about because you did nothing wrong. It's the crew's fault for putting the dead mic so close to the equipment and not out by the drums like it should have been." He shrugged. He figured he could sit there and be bitter about dying -and doing it painfully- or he could make the best out of what he was a torture people.

"I would have married you if we didn't have like, a ton of shows and a record to put out. I mean, we got to like, show twelve, and then they had to find a new guitarist and a new bassist because Mat the Fuck Up managed to blow up the stage." He chewed on his lip again, knowing the old Dylan would have made him feel better. But the new Dylan couldn't.

"I'm still here, Dylan.. Right here where I died.. If you try hard enough, you can still see the make-shift stage, the wires in the sand, the crowd out and jumping around. And you.. In that same place you always stood, even if you were allowed back stage." He was almost glad he didn't go backstage now.

[dylan flambyte parker]

"You're not a fuck up Mat, it wasn't your fault either.. he complained. "I try to forget it, dreams are a btch thoughz." He swallowed. "You're not the only one who still sees it all as it happened. I tried running forward the moment you tripped and that wire sparked. They wouldn't fucking let me, held me back. I would have jumped up there in that damned explosion just to try and save you Mat...you know that right?"

He huffed, letting out a shaky breath. He reached his hand over, laying it down. Bt he felt sand instead of the skin of Mat's hand beneath his own, and looked away to hide the struggle of emotion. "I've tried moving on, I've tried being myself. I just-...I can't, without you. And people who didn't know I was with you, just ge the impression of Complete Asdhole instead. Mat..I-...I beat my brother now too, you know?" He looked over at him guiltily. "Torture him every time I see him...." He pressed his lips together to stop them from trembling.