[CLOSED] nothing but broke promises.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor huffed as he was lifted, holding on tight and hiding his face against Deacon's chest, vaguely thinking he shouldn't lift him up, shouldn't stress those stitches. He curled up in the bed, forcing himself to stop crying as he snuggled up close. His grief still ate at his insides, but he did his best not to let it show as he wrapped his arms around Deacon, terrified that if he let go, he wouldn't stay put. He drew in a soft breath, eyes closing. But he couldn't find sleep.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon slept restlessly, his dreams turned to nightmares. They didn't make any sense, but they were unsettling. He remembered waking up once in the night to throw up, but considering he never ate anything, he just sat there gagging until he finally threw up blood. He woke early in the morning to his pager going off. He looked at it, then pushed it away, laying there absently in the bed. He finally broke and started crying, pleading again for them to let Connor stay.

'You don't understand.. He's everything to me.. I can't live without him.. He dies, I die. That's as simple as it gets..' He thought, wrapping his arms around himself. 'All I want is for him to stay..'

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor, finally past exhaustion, allowed his body to force him to sleep. He stirred in the morning, curled up in a tight ball beneath the blankets, and rubbed tiredly at his face, tilting his head. He bit his lip when he noticed Deacon crying, didn't say a single word. Instead he scooted close, brushing tenderly at his tears and kissing his softly on the lips before pulling his arms from around himself so he could rest his head on his chest, draped them over his own body and closed his eyes again. His breaths were deep and slow, their usual, slightly irregular pattern. It was surprising that they hadn't given out. He yawned sleepily, a hand brushing slowly over Deacon's upper chest and shoulder, body relaxed. The picture of bliss, something rare for somebody so sick that they were dying, always hurting in some way. For now, for once, it was something light enough to ignore. And he was okay with that, knowing it wouldn't last.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon wrapped his arms tightly around Connor, pulling him as close as he could. He held him close, rubbing his fingers slowly up and down his back. He kept telling himself to enjoy him while he was there, that there was no way they were going to give him another chance. He reached up, stroking his hair gently before he tipped Connor's chin back, kissing him slowly. He stroked his cheek gently as he pulled away, green eyes staring over at him.

"I love you.." He breathed, kissing him softly again. "More than you know.." He let his hand drop to Connor's back again, rubbing it gently.

'Just give him twenty more years.. If I can't keep him, at least give him that..' He pleaded, reaching up to trace his finger over Connor's bottom lip.

"No wonder you aren't immortal.. Everyone would want you." He said with a smile.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor smiled hazily. "Love y-you too..." He met the kisses, hand resting on Deacon's chest. "No..cos I-I'm too messed up..only the best want me, like y-you..." He kissed him softly again, sighed. Drawing the blankets over, he pulled them close, nestling between theirs and Deacon's warmth. "Perfect.." He whispered. "Right now i-is perfect.." He kissed his shoulder, tucking in close as he closed his eyes, just listening, feeling. Living...

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon wrapped his arms around Connor, hugging him close. "Every moment with you is perfect, whether you believe it or not." Hr kissed the top of his head. He knew he wouldn't get back all the time he lost at work, but that was Connor's time with Christy. He didnt have a lot of time to start with, and now he had a lot less.

He kissed his forehead again, rubbing his back gently. "I'll call in a little while, see if it's okay to bring Bandit home. If she's okay and you can be around her."

[connor crayze sykes]

"Okay.." Connor stretched a bit, glad he only had to take one dose of the new medication a day. Because it already put him at a minimum of six pills daily, plus extra tranxene if he went into an attack. He sighed again, trying to keep up the happy facade even as he thought back on the nights events.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon rubbed his back gently, hugging him close. He continued to plead like he'd done for what seemed like the entire night. He prayed they would answer, that they would let him stay. He wanted to be able to go to work, or make out with his boyfriend and know he wasn't hurting him. He chewed on his sore lip, his tongue passing back and forth over the backs of his piercings.

"Are you hurting?" He asked quietly after awhile.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor stayed put and silent, content with just lying there. He shifted his weight some when Deacon spoke, and kissed him softly on the lips. "No..." He nuzzled him carefully nose to nose, then buried his face against the crook of Deacon's chest, drawing in a slow breath.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon kissed him back, then traced his fingers up Connor's back. He couldn't help thinking how lucky he was to have anyone at all. He didn't have to be allowed to touch anyone, but he could touch Connor. 'Maybe I really am selfish. He doesn't deserve to suffer any more.' He thought, humming an old song him and Thatcher used to play.

"What do you think about spending the night on the beach? Just me, you, a blanket, a million stars, and the ocean." He kissed him softly.