[CLOSED] nothing but broke promises.

[deacon reid rudman]

"None of this is your fault, Connor. None of it. And you can't blame yourself for it. I can't die anyways. So stop blaming yourself." He kissed him softly, reaching up to run a hand across his jaw. Then his hand dropped back to Connor's

"We both have a few issues, Connor. And a few addictions. But the difference between you and me is that you can get up and leave and find someone else any time you want. But you're all I've got, and you're all I want. And I wouldn't trade anything for every second we spent together. I love you, okay? And I'll find a way to prove that." He hugged Connor close, pretty sure the bleeding had stopped in his hip.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor frowned. He'd been so scared about losing Deacon and yet... "That's fucked up.." When he realized what he was saying, he smiled faintly past the tears, a soft laugh bubbling past his lips, and he buried his face, hugging Deacon closer. "Sorry..."

He chewed on his lip. "I-I don't wanna leave though," He mumbled. "I wanna s-stay with y-y-you forever..." He swallowed. "I-...I don't c-care if I had to be s-sick for etern-nity...I would give anything to be with y-y-you that long..."

A crazy idea passed his mind. What if he were bit by a vampire? But the idea was stupid. If anything it would kill him, he had already died, been immortal, and given that up when he was damned. "I-I love you.."

[deacon reid rudman]

"I don't want you to leave, either, baby.." He said quietly, reaching up to stroke his cheek. He never wanted Connor to leave. And he would give anything to keep him forever. Even if it meant his life. If he had to live in misery, he would. As long as Connor got to stay with him.

"I love you too." He said with a smile, kissing him softly. He saw Connor's gaze cloud over and kissed his forehead. "Don't think so hard. You'll get a head ache. And nothing's worth a head ache. That's what I told my math teacher when they told me to do my homework." He smiled, remembering that was years and years ago. Everyone he had ever associated with was dead now. And even harder to believe that he was once a kid. A mortal kid.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor smiled the faintest bit, kissed him on the lips. "I-I was so scred when y-you weren't in that room..when i-it wasn't you talking.. all I-I could imagine was you h-hang-.." His voice wavered and he swallowed, face finding Deacon's chest.

"I wish I hadn't f-fucked up so bad...I-I-...even immortal I was s-sick...but n-now....I'd do i-it again to be with you longer than I-I have...to not hve you s-so sad..." He kissed his chest gently.

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon held him close, running his fingers through the boy's hair. "I would give up everything to have you here. just to know I have you for longer than I do. I just.. I love you, and I don't want to lose you.." He couldnt think of one unselfish reason why he wanted to keep him. Aside from that Bandit and Christy needed him.

"I just want to give you forever.. Keep you here with me.. No matter what the cost." He kissed him gently, tears falling down his cheeks. "It'll never be enough.. Every kiss, every hug, every touch, every stuttered word.. One day I-I'm just going to want one more.. And you'll be gone.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor's jaw trembled, throat feeling tight, and he swallowed. "I-I-I-.." He wanted to say sorry, but knew what Deacon's reply would be. "To be with y-you...forever...would ch-change my life..." He rasped, tears on replay now, he wondered if they would ever stop, or if he would run out from crying sown much. His grip on Deacon tightened further. "I don't want y-y-you to be so broken when I-I'm gone.." He whimpered softly. "You, a-and the girls...you're all that m-makes me happy Deac-con.."

He let out a shaky breath. "I don't wanna..l-leave that behind..."

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon pulled him close, afraid to let go. He couldn't help but cry. He kissed the top of his head, rubbing his side gently. "I can't help but be broken.. You're my life.." He whispered. He knew without a shadow of a doubt, Bandit wouldn't be the same when Connor died. She would probably never be the bubbly little girl she was now. Granted she was old enough to remember him. He tipped his chin back, kissing him deeply.

"I don't want to lose you.. It's not fair." He mumbled, stroking his cheek.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor quieted at the kiss, meeting it slow and gentle. "I know i-it's not.." He mumbled. "The one person y-you can touch...i-is dying f-faster than everybody else.." He wiped gently at Deacon's tears. "Y-you knew it from the moment you m-met me too, Deacon..."

Again he hugged him tight. "I-if I could find a way to live s-sick forever instead of dying l-like this...I-I would.."

[deacon reid rudman]

"I may have known you were dying, but I never expected to love you as much as I do." He said quietly, hugging him almost as tight. He buried his face in the boy's neck, listening to his uneven breathing. He kissed the skin there gently, running his fingers up and down his back.

"I wish there were.. But there's not.." He whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around him again. He didn't want to let go. He just wanted Connor to stay there forever. 'I'd hold his corpse if I thought it would make me feel any better..' He thought, but knew that wouldn't help much. That Connor couldn't talk.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor swallowed again, shaking his head silently in response. He didn't want to think about it, that he had expelled his chance at immortality. So he just kept close, aware of every touch from his love, from the person he wanted to live forever with, the person that in the end would have to take his life a second time instead. This time he would not be going to heaven.

"Did y-you know I would die f-from my throat being slit? I h-had been dying of sickness already.." Now he was almost as human as ever, as if those three days in heaven had done nothing, as if nothing had changed except for these wings. He tucked them close, drawing them back within himself so he could get even closer. "Jon h-had raped me, was beating m-me..I-..I told h-him to put me outta my misery.." He swallowed. "Didn't th-think he'd slit m-my throat, put m-me in a coma o-on supports for three weeks... Y-you've changed me so m-much, never had I thought I-I'd wanna live sick f-forever...j-just to be with somebody."