[CLOSED] taking on water.

[deacon reid rudman]

Bandit sucked on his finger, and was soon quickly asleep in his lap, completely tired from all the playing. Deacon leaned over kissing him gently. "You make.. a really good dad." He said softly, cupping his cheek. He picked Bandit up, and carried her inside, laying her in her playpen before going back out to the back yard, sitting behind Connor and pulling him into his lap.

"I always wanted a family.." He said quietly, his chin resting on Connor's shoulders. He rubbed his sides, then wrapped his arms around his waist.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor smiled at the compliment, watching Deacon take Bandit inside, wiping his finger off on his boxers. He debated on getting fully dressed, decided he was too lazy to do so right now. And then Deacon returned, and he felt his chin on his shoulder as he listened to him speak.

"Now you h-have one..." He whispered softly, ha ds winding Deacon's own as they wrapped around his waist. He eased back against his chest some. "And s-so does Bandit..."

[deacon reid rudman]

"I wasn't worried about Bandit.." He said quietly. He felt Connor's hands on his and smiled. "She would go to a complete stranger if they called her. So even if she didn't have another dad, she would still be fine. But now she's got a pretty amazing daddy."

He kissed his neck softly, listening to his breaths. "I just hope.. you get to see her grow up.. That we can watch her grow together.. At least until she can remember you." He laid his head on Connor's shoulder, that all too familiar hurt coming back. 'What if Bandit will never get to remember him?' he thought, turning his hands over and lacing his fingers with Connor's.

"What's one thing you've always really wanted? More than anything else. And don't say family, cause you got that here. Something else. Something I can give you that you really really want." He ran his thumbs over the inside of his hands, giving him time to think.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor cuddled up close. "I hope sh-she remembers me t-too..." He whispered softly. He laced his fingers through Deacon's as he turned his hands over. He tilted his head back, kissing gently under Deacon's chin. "What do I-I want more than anything...?" He murmured, sighing.

He shifted his weight some. "What I-I want isn't something you can give m-me..." He swallowed. "I wanna get b-better, I wanna get clean a-and turn my life ar-round... But y-you've already given me one thing D-Deac-con. Happiness..." He squeezed his hands tightly, then turned over, arms wrapping over Deacon's neck and pushing him into the grass. He kissed him softly, a hand on his chest. "A-and that's all I'll ever ask..."

[deacon reid rudman]

He kissed him softly, wrapping his arms around him. He looked up at him, biting his lip. "We.. Organ transplants won't help?" He asked, his eyes searching Connor's. "I can.. a lot of the people in the morgue are organ donors. And some of the organs are just sitting in the freezer. If that's what you want.. And the hospital probably won't charge me like, a million dollars to do it. I'll pay for it, if that's what you want.."

He rubbed his back gently, wishing he could completely fix him forever, make him immortal so he could stay there forever. "I can try and give you whatever you want.."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor bit his lip, gazing down at him. "They m-might for a little bit.." He breathed. "But m-my name on the donor list..." He shook his head with a wavering breath. "I-I dunno if I can wait th-that long Deacon..."

Drawing in a slow breath, he lowered himself onto his chest, curling up some, listening to the beat of his heart. He didn't dare mention his fear of hospitals, how his father stalked them, waiting for him to be defenseless.

[deacon reid rudman]

"I can try and get them faster, Connor.." He said quietly, stroking his hair. 'Fuck, I'd do it illegally if I thought it would be faster..' He thought, willing to go to any lengths for the boy. "I can try.. Me and Bandit will be up there every day, all day long until they release you.. I just want you to get better, Connor.. I wanna give you a chance at life thats been taken away from you.." He rubbed his back slowly, then kissed the top of his head. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying having him so close, cherishing it.

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor wrapped his arms around him tighter. "I-if you want.." He murmured softly, kissing Deacon's chest. "Okay..." He held him close, stretched up to kiss him on the lips. Then he dropped his head again. "I'm so f-fuckin' scared Deacon.." He whispered softly, suddenly.

He drew in a quick breath, face burying in his neck. "so scared..."

[deacon reid rudman]

Deacon held him close, biting his lip. He had never comforted anyone before, and didn't quite know how. "You don't have to be scared of anything anymore, Connor.. Nothing and no one is going to hurt you anymore.. It's finally gonna be about you now. You and your little sister, and the time you have left."

He rolled over on his side so he could pull Connor close, and he could curl up against him if he wanted. "It's all gonna be okay.." He said quietly, kissing the top of his head. "If anyone ever hurts you again, they're going to think hell is tame compared to my torture."

[connor crayze sykes]

Connor swallowed, drawing his legs up and curling up close in the security of Deacon's arms. "Y-you can't promise that.." He whispered, kissing Deacon's shoulder.

"H-he won't leave me alone a-and I can't get better forever...I j-just..I'm not afraid of dying Deac-con...I'm afraid of not having s-something to live for i-in the first place, of being forgotten..."